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Movie Review: Gerald’s Game

October 20, 2017

geralds-game-movie-posterStephen King adaptions are really on a roll this year. Gerald’s Game was a really cringy book that takes place half inside the main character’s head and I wasn’t sure it would be a good adaptation, but Mike Flanagan actually pulled a great cringy film out of that dense book. Acting is amazing, Bruce Greenwood is a perfectly creepy Gerald and Carla Gugino gives what is easily her best performance while carrying the whole film on her shoulders. The story sticks pretty close to the book in terms of being dark personal and unsettling with just a dash of fucking weird on top. This is a Netflix joint and I suggest you all go log on and watch this right now, 8.75/10.

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Movie Review- Kingsman: The Golden Circle

October 8, 2017

kingsman_the_golden_circleIt’s not a bad film, but it’s not as good as the first film by a long shot either. Acting is good and the action is cool, but Matthew Vaughn is kinda just copying himself instead of doing something new. The story is also full of things that are either really dumb or really convoluted. There was also an excessive use of robots and Elton John in my opinion.

Overall I did like it as forgettable as it will probably turn out to be. The sequel has hope with the new status quo they set up at the end of this one. I just hope I can take their new villain just a little bit more serious then Julianne Moore’s Poppy.

7.75/10

Movie Review: Beauty and the Beast

September 29, 2017

mv5bmtuwnjuxmtm4nv5bml5banbnxkftztgwodexmdqzmti-_v1_ux182_cr00182268_al_So I just watched this latest live action fairy tale from Disney and I dunno, I was okay I guess. For the most part it was a shot for shot remake, so much so that I really question why this version exists at all. They also kept all of the old songs, most of which don’t really work outside of animation. Acting is good, but their characters are still cartoonish. I dunno, the whole thing just feels like a waste of time when you could just watch the animation that still very much holds up. Speaking of animation, the cgi furniture in this film will give any kid in their right mind nightmares. 6.5/10, on Netflix now if you really wanna check it out yourself.

Movie Review: Mother!

September 27, 2017

jennifer-lawrence-mother-darren-aronofsky-movie-poster-violent-bloody-heart__optSo uh, shit man, this fucking thing was something else I tell you. Right off the bat I’m gonna say that I’m spoiling the entire film in this review because I just can’t fathom how to talk about it otherwise. Want to know if you should see it? The answer is probably not, this film is honestly only going to appeal to extreme film nerds, while very well made the experience I felt watching it was super unpleasant to say the least. But if that’s what you’re into then by all means give it some money because it’s bombing super hard right now.

Acting is great, though it’s weird because they’re playing ideas more then actual characters. Jennifer Lawrence steals the show here as Mother Nature in easily one of her best performances. I also need to call Michelle Pfeiffer who is still the goddamn Catwoman.

This is Darren Aronofsky’s seventh film, fifth one that he wrote himself. Some critics out have argued that Mother! is pretentious and I have a hard time arguing with them, I mean from my point of view the dude just read the Bible while making Noah and his first thought was “Woah, this would make a great physiological horror.” Add in some borrowed ideas from Rosemary’s Baby and Nicolas Winding Refn films and you have this weird ass retelling of the Bible, Old Testament and a bit of the New.

Speaking of the New Testament, I believe I know exactly which scene earned this film an F cinemascore. I mean I get it, their kid is Jesus, but fucking come on Aronofsky, I didn’t need to see any of that.

I dunno, it’s hard to put my thoughts together here. I think I liked it, but I really don’t wanna ever see it again. Forcing myself to score it I think it’s 8.75/10

Movie Review: IT

September 12, 2017

it-movie-poster-1I missed Dark Tower, mostly ’cause I heard it sucked, but as a Constant Reader and a fan of the old mini series I had to check out this new take on IT. There aren’t many good Stephen King films out there (Dark Tower why?), but I believe IT now ranks among the best of them. Granted they had to cut the novel in half to actually do it justice and even them many plot lines were changed, abandoned, or saved for the sequel.

I’ll always feel nostalgic for Tim Curry’s Pennywise, but I think Bill Skarsgard has really surpassed that performance here and earned the title of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. He truly feels like another worldly being trapped in a human shape, the cgi finally letting us see his shape-shifting in action didn’t hurt either. The cast of the Losers Club are also amazing, believably portraying a lot of adult emotions. It’s just too bad the writing couldn’t flesh them all out as well as the book did.

I’ve heard many complaints about the cgi and I can kinda see where these people are coming from since it not quite as polished as bigger budgeted films, but I just went with it. I mean you’re there to get caught up in the world of the film, forget about the cgi, it still looks better then the 90’s version.

The other complaint I hear is that it’s not very scary. I believe that it is scary though, it’s just not the all out horror film that the trailers sold. This is a coming of age story that just happens to have a creepy clown in it. I mean when Pennywise shows up he’ll freak you out, but most of the movie is actually just the kids hanging out. There are seven Losers so the film has to develop a lot of character in between IT appearances.

Overall, 8/10, Go see IT!

Movie Review: Wind River

September 9, 2017

mv5bmtuymju1otuwm15bml5banbnxkftztgwmdg1ndq2mji-_v1_ux182_cr00182268_al_Wind River is a brooding murder mystery with much more emphasis on the brooding then the mystery. This is Taylor Sheridan’s directorial debut after writing the amazing Sicario and Hell or High Water and he does a pretty good job here. The writing is top notch like those other films, but the directing isn’t quite as polished. That being said I did feel like I had just spent some time in Wyoming and I really hope I never have to go there in real life, the film completely captures what a frozen hell hole it is. Also the third act is edge of your seat perfection.

Acting is great across the board. This might be Jeremy Renner’s best performance, his chemistry with Elizabeth Olsen was great and thankfully not romantic. Graham Greene is fantastic, perfectly rounding out the trio of heroes. Gil Birmingham while not in a whole of the film is a total scene stealer.

I did have a few issues with it, but overall it’s a great film and it might even even earn some Oscar considerations. 8.5/10

Movie Review: Lifeforce (1985)

September 7, 2017
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d19fe086073e5719fc689cee1a091990-horror-movie-posters-horror-moviesSo this is a film I checked out on a whim and it’s pretty fucking insane. The plot is super dumb and needlessly hard to follow but let’s see if I can recap it. A bunch of astronauts find an old alien ship inside Haley’s comet and it’s filled with fucking giant petrified bat creatures. Not only that there’s three nude humans inside crystals or something and these guys decide that they need to bring these nudists down to Earth. Surprise, the nude people are fucking energy vampires. The rest of the film is a montage of awesome zombie puppetry and then the apocalypse breaks out in the middle of the film because reasons. Honestly you’ll get a kick out of it if you’re in the right mood, but it’s not a good movie. 5/10